today grandma got to hold Trevor for the first time! she was very happy. Trevor has got two morning primary nurses, i love them. they are the nicest two woman you could ever meet. they answer questions and explain things in great detail. yesterday i finally got up the courage to ask them and i was very pleased when they both said yes. i even left tonight at 7 for the first time because i knew he would be well taken care of. i can't say enough good things about these two woman, i am very thankful and know Trevor will benefit from their care. God does answer prayers. thank you God for bring them into our lives.
today is the little munchkins birthday he's 1 month old. YEAH!!! he now weighs 966 grams and is 14 inches long. his friend Serenity's mom dropped off some balloons, so everyone was stopping to wish him a happy b-day. another mom brought him a bear that says a prayer and a card. that was so nice of both of them, it made me feel really good. i can't believe that its been a month already.
today was a much better day then yesterday. my nicu friend stop by to make sure i was doing okay. ithink that she just wanted to make sure that the nurse from thurs. wasn't there. my other nicu friend came by and brought me an angel figure that is holding a baby and says first time mom . i thought that was very nice of both of them. the father of a set of twins stopped me outside the hospital to ask how Trevor was doing. the funny part is none of this people know my name they all call me Trevors mom. (yes i have told them my name, but nobody seems to remember) i guess i 've lost my idenity. i don't mind it i love being the munchkins mom!
today i walk into find them putting Trevor back on cpap. i tell myslf i'm not going to get upset and cry. so i'm sitting there and i here the nurse say" that mom is upset because her babys not doing well." so of course i start to cry. seeing that i'm crying, she walks over to me and says" get your self together these things happen." then she asks" are you crying because you can't hold him?" i told her that i would be back in a little bit. then i went into the hall and cried, she really got to me. in the hallway i ran into one of my nicu friends, she said "don't let her get to you go back in there."" then she offered to say something to the nurse, i said no. i don't like to make waves. we went back in turns out that nurse had been rude to her and she had requested to not have that nurse again. the nurse in question saw us talking. after my nicu friend left the nurse got really nice with me, maybe she thought she was going to be reported again. after that she let me hold him and change his diaper, and she kept telling me that the baby was so cute. hopefully friday will be better. didn't i say thar last thursday? i don't like thursdays.
***helen*** who do you think took the pictures Helen? :) next time it my turn to give him the bath, i can't wait because he loved it. also just so you know if you visit, they moved him he's now right by the door that you enter.
the pictures were taken yesterday today he came of the cpap again. he may need to go back on it soon. it was nice for me to see him without a hat on and without anything on his face. sorry i don't have any pictures from today. he has the cutest little cowlick! i'll take pitures and post them soon . i told the nurse that he looked so different to me. it was like i was seeing my baby in a whole new way. :)
look at the size of my hand compared to Trevor in the picture below where he's crying.
today i tried to get into the nicu they didn't let me in at first. i knew something was wrong. the nurse said Trevor had 15 events yesterday. that a huge amount. they are running test o see if he has an infection. of course that made me cry, needless to say grandma and i didn't have much fun a scrapbooking. i'm praying that nothings wrong with the baby, they get results back in the next couple of days.
the nurse today said that i can start bringing in clothes for the little man. his aunt got him his first preemie outfit the day he was born. i think that will be the first outfit that he gets to wear. helen came to visit today and she brought him 2 more little outfits. they are so cute i can't wait till they fit . the clothes are preemie but he has to grow a little more to fit into them. i think the ones auntie got him are to big to, with the way he's growing they will all fit soon enough. the nurse also made me turn him over, i have avoided this because he still scares me. he's so small i don't want to hurt him, she told me that i can't break him. she was a nice nurse, but she was firm with me and made me do things that the others let me get away with not doing. she said that she'll be watching me, so i guess i better start practicing. it was a good day, and thanks to helen it went by very quickly. :)
Trevor had a good day. he only had one i forgot to breathe. i got to hold him for 1 hour, and the only thing they are feeding him is breastmilk. he had nice and friendly nurses. so it was a pretty quiet day, thats a good thing.
i want to say a big THANK YOU to the girls at work. it means alot to me that you guys would be willing to do that. i miss you guys.
cpap= continuous positive airway pressure, it keeps the air sacs in a babys lungs open, by preventing them from collapsing after each breath.
so today i walk in and the nurse announces that Trevor is going to be taken of his cpap. i'm happy but tell her that i'm not sure he's ready. remember he turned purple yesterday. she says he'll be fine, that they will just test it out, if they need to they will put him back on it. so they take him off it. i get for the first time to see him without his hat and his eyes open. (the last time he was off cpap his eyes were still closed) he was the cutest, just addorable, i just kept looking at him, he looked so different he always has a hat on. then i went to lunch, came back and he was on cpap again. ( i was only gone 30 min) it seems that when i was gone Trevor forgot to breath 7 times. so it was decided to put him back on cpap and they will try this all over again next week. the only good thing was i didn't have to watch him turn purple, that just makes me crazy with worry. as far as the reflux they upped his caffine. hopefull that works because every time he forgets to breath i get scared to death. anyway i got to hold him for about 2 hours, which was great. i also got to change 3 poopy diapers, the nurse made the comment that he's plumbing is working great! i can tell you that there has never been a more truthful statement.:)
today started off good, i walked in the nurse was the nice one from Sun., she said the baby was doing great. i got to hold him for 2 hours, he had gained weight, and remembered to breathe. life was good. then she feeds him. he has 4 bradys (forgets to breathe) in a row, for the next 3 hrs he's fine. at 6 she feeds him again he has 5 bradys in a row the last one so bad he turned purple. i'm scared the nurse tells me he's going to be okay. when he turned pink again i calmed down. she thinks he might have reflux, the docter will see tonight and they can give him meds to take care of it. to make my day even better i go get lunch my phone rings i think it might be about the baby , so i answer it. its the supervisor of the billing department calling. he says " we have these bills and need you to take care of them, when can you send a payment? i tell him what i told the other girl " i have no money. he says " are you refusing to pay your debt". i say i have no money. he again says " are you refusing to pay your debt." i said send me another bill i will pay it when i can. he says" are you refusing to pay your debt." seeing that i wasn't get anywhere i said i just had a premature baby , and i have no income. what do you want me to do? he said "pay your bills." i hung up on him.
in yesterdays blog i forgot to mention one other new friend i had met because of the baby Christina/Ohio . sorry about that.:)
the baby now weighs 909 grams. ladies how much is that ?
i have made many new friends in the nicu. its nice to have people that understand what i'm going through to talk with. the woman that i met on monday at the scrapbooking class came over to talk to me today. she had a baby at 6 months, the baby weighed 1pound 5 oz. now 2 months later her baby weighs almost 4 pds. she said that Trevors going to be fine. she gives me so much hope. i went and saw her baby she looks huge compared to mine. she was so cute. i said don't take offense but your baby is HUGE, she smiled and said thats a complement. i can't wait for mine to get where hers is now. SOON I PRAY. i think that i know every nurse that works in the nicu. it makes the days go by faster because i sit and talk with all of them. everyone seems so positive that the baby will be fine. i tell them that i can never hear that enough. the security guards ask me how the babys doing and tell me that they are praying for him. the ladys in the gift shop see me walking and ask about him. other hospital employees ask aout him. and countless other parents talk to me and ask me about him. its nice that so many people care and take time to ask me about Trevor.
this morning at 7 am my phone rings . i immediately think that somethings wrong with Trevor. no, its the hospital billing department, the nice lady informs me that my insurance company is denying all the babies bills. WHY ARE THEY CALLING AT 7 O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING? i calmly tell her that i can't add him to my insurance because i haven't got his social security card yet. she then tells me" the bills are piling up and they need to be paid. what do i plan to do about it?" i calmly repeat that i don't have his s.s. # yet. she then tells me that she will be speaking to her supervisor and calling me back on wed. i can hardly wait. what do they expect from me i've been out of work for almost a month that means no $$$$! i haven't got my disablity yet because the doc was slow to fillout the paperwork. i drive 90 minutes round trip daily, and pay a $3 parking fee, i'm doing this and paying all my other bills with no income. which means that i get money from mom and dad. how sad is that? mom can i have $3 to pay for parking? dad can i have money for gas? well i know they aren't going to throw him out of the hospital, so i'll just deal with little miss nice when she calls back . yes, i'll be pleasent with her, i know that she's just doing her job. on a happier note: Trevor was a good boy today he gained another 1/2 oz. I got to hold him for 2 hours and they have increased his feedings. I thank God that he's doing good and i hope he contnuies to get better. the rest of the stuff will work out i'm not going to stress about it. as long as i can see my baby and he's doing fine the world is good.
Trevors night nurse signed up to be his primary. that means that everytime she works she will get to take care of him. i think thats a good thing because he will get used to having the same person take care of him. the even better part is leslie volunteered to do it i didn't have to ask her to do it. she was one of my favorite nurses., so it worked out great. today i learned that a pacifer is a great item to stop the crying, it seemed to calm him down and its teaching him to suck. i got to hold him for 2 hours today and he was so good and just the most adorable baby, and when he would start to cry in goes the pacifer. i was amazed at how quickly he would stop fussing. then grandma and i went to the nicu scrapbooking workshop today its held on mondays. we met 3 other woman that are going through the same thing i am. it was nice to here that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, hearing their stories made me feel much better. they told me that Trevor is going to make it. thats something i can never hear enough.
thanks to Helen and Christina for the math skills. i'm sure i'll be asking you guys the same question again and again . remember i didn't pay attention in school. :)
i would like to point out that Trevor has a good day when he has a nice nurse. today he had the best nurse, i got her name because i want to tell her bosses. she answered all my questions, she took great care of the little man and she did it all with a smile. she let me hold him today and she thanked me for spending the day with him . she said that babies do better when their parents are there for them. when i left to get dinner, her shift was ending and i went to thank her. she thanked me first for letting her take care of such an adorable baby. that made me feel good . i hope that he gets her again, i'm going to put in a request. then his night nurse asked if she could be his primary night nurse. my mind will be at ease if these two are his primarys. Trevor and i also had a very special visitor today, Helen came to see the munchkin. she gave me a necklace that had his birthstone. i had been wanted to get one, so that was really cool. it also made the day go by faster because i had someone i could talk too. thanks again Helen and thanks John for babysitting. :) also does anyone know what 844 grams is in pounds? helen and i couldn't figure it out, maybe we should have paid more attention in school.
today when i walked into the nicu Trevor was throwing one of his fits. he was really upset, he was yelling. i opened the door on his bed stuck my hand in and he stopped crying. then they let me hold him for an hour and a half, when the nurse took him away another fit was thrown. then off and on while i was sitting there he would cry, i would stick my hand in and he would stop. the nurses tell me to not spoil him, i just think its cute he knows mommy. besides you can't spoil a baby. right?
John and Helen , yes i changed a poopy diaper today. his nurse wouldn't do it for me she said it's good practice. yuck! also just to let you know John, i do believe that he had his first "blowout".
ON A DIFFERENT NOTE; EVERYONE AT WORK , ALL MY FAMILY' AND FRIENDS THAT I HAVEN'T CALLED OR E-MAILED. I'VE BEEN SO CAUGHT UP WITH THE MUNCHKIN. I KNOW THATS NOT AN EXCUSE, FORGIVE ME I WILL TRY TO BE BETTER WITH RETURNING CALLS AND E-MAILS. SORRY GUYS, I'M NOT BEING RUDE, AND YOUR SUPPORT MEANS ALOT TO ME. THANKS AGAIN.
today Trevor had his 2nd blood transfusion. i'm told that its a good thing and will greatly help him with his breathing problems. they put him back on a cpap. trevors still breathing on his own they are just helping to make it easier for him. i was able to change his diaper after not being able to on thursday i was more than happy to do it. (no poop) :) auntie lynette and uncle richard came to visit. auntie got to see first hand that the little man has a big set of lungs. he was throwing one of his little fits, a clean diaper was all that was need to calm him down. i'm going to have my hands full with him someday, the nurses call him peanut with an attiude. they tell me i should tape record his crying and play it back for him someday.
Trevor had a bad day to day therefore i had a terrible day today. i don't think i've ever cried so much , its hard to sit there and not be able to do anythingfor him. i hate to see Trevor in pain and i hate to hear him cry. please any good vibes and prayers sent his way would be appreciated. yesterday was so great i wasn't expecting today to be like this. i know that we will get through this its just really hard to see the person you love most suffer. thanks everyone for letting me vent.
i've changed Trevors diapers at least once a day since he was 2 days old. so today when the nurse asked " do you want to change his diaper". "sure no problem" i answered. that was until i 0pened his dirty diaper. " He pooped" i screamed. i was scared! how can such a little boy make that kind of mess i thought to myself. the nurse looked at me like i was crazy. "Yes he did" she answered. i must of had a horrifed look on my face because she offered to change it for me. believe me i greatfully accepted. today i found the one good thing about him being in the hospital somebody to do my dirty work for me. :)
Trevor is has gained 5 ounces since he was born. he had a great day today. he remembered to breath all day. which means i was able to breath good myself. :) i also went to an scrapbooking class that they do for the nicu parents. that was fun, i think that the class leader was suprised how many pictures i had of the little man. i take a min. of three per day, i have already filled up a photo album. i can't help it he's so cute.
i can't belive my little man is a week and 1 day old. he's getting to be a big boy he weighs in at a whole 1 pound and 10 ounces. that may not seem much but i think he's doing great. they have started to give him breast milk, hopefully that will get him to put on some much needed weight. when i walked into the hospital today the nurse ran over and said" what do you think?" . "what do i think about what?" i asked. i didn't even notice that they had taken him off the oxygen that they were giving him! he is breathing 100% on his own! no ventilator and no oxygen mask, how did i not notice. they say that at some point he may go back on, but that its a good sign that he's doing so good. please keep your finger crossed that things continue to go well for him. thank you everyone for your prayers, it means alot to me to know that so many people care. thanks! i will be posting pictures as soon as i figure out how.
the nurses say that the days spent in nicu will be like a rollercoster ride. i believe it because after having a great day on thursday, friday seem to be a big let down. trevor forgot to breath 8 times in the 11 hours i was there. needless to say this leads to much stress and concern for me to have to watch. the nurses tell me that its perfectly normal. they say that for a baby his size his is doing great. it might be normal be but it still doesn't make it any easier. on a good note i did get to hold my little munchkin for about an hour, i got to take his temp. and i got to change one of his diapers.
on a different note it would be nice if someone, anyone would leave a comment so i know i'm not wasting my time writing this blog. :)
today i got to hold my son for two hours in a row. it felt great! he makes me feel so happy and proud. he is breathing on his own, and has been for two days. the nurses say that for a baby his size its a good thing. they also say that he will possible have to go back on the ventilator, and i shouldnt worry. easy for them to say. all i do is worry, thats what mothers do right? i also got peed on today my fault i guess i need more practice with changing diapers. :) he may be small but he's a boy! i was at the hospital for about 9 hours today. i still feel terrible leaving him alone, i can't wait tell he comes home. i never thought that i could love something as much as i love my little munchkin.
today i came home from the hospital. it was a hard day for me because i had to leave my son Trevor at the hospital. He was born June 30 at 25 weeks and he has got a long road ahead before he gets out of the hospital. I felt terrible having to leave him. I had to be hospitalized two weeks prior to his birth, so this is the first day in 16 days that i had to return to life outside the hospital walls. I can't stop wondering how he's doing at least when i was in the hosptial i could spend hours on end with him and i knew that i was right there if something were to happen. I live about 45 min. away from the hospital that he's staying at. I worry that something will happen and i won't get there in time. Wedensday i plan to spend the day there, i actually plan to spend as much time as possibe there until he gets out. i didn't think that i could every love something as much as i love him. he is my everything and i miss him and i love him and i pray that we can get through this and be together someday in the near future.
Name::jennifer From::escondido, california, United States
first time mom to a beautiful baby boy. his name is Trevor Michael he is the love of my life!
